I've hurt my husband's confidence and his feelings?

He is in his 30s, not as fit as he used to be and took too long in school. I want a child and a house not an apartment. Last year was bad and I had a relative die. I hurt my husband by putting him down about his manhood and his earnings. I told him that he's not a good provider. I don't know why. I also took up for a while with a work colleague he was so young and he paid attention. Nothing happened but I thought about doing something. Then my husband found out and was very hurt. We seemed better because he wanted to talk over a few weeks but I flirted with a mover in front of him and then went out wearing the wrong outfit later that week. He is angry now for several months and I think I have shot his confidence. I do love him and want to be with him but I don't know how to take anything back. How do I fix things like this?